This is very well written. I do have a question though. Who is the girl holding the sword starting in chapter 10? I realize she's not Aloree, but you haven't named her yet.
I have to confess my eyes are starting to glaze over from all the fight scenes, especially as I don’t have a clear idea of who Veldin is, as he’s clearly a separate entity from his brother, but then I guess he hasn’t had time to do more than develop fighting muscles since the first Vel died.
I originally intended the image as Aloree in chapter 1, but I later realized the image didn't fit her personality at all. I still use the image for the more "combat" chapters because it's less romantic and more action.
I've considered using her as the Dark Emperor, since her magic sword is black and magic swords enable one to break realism as far as men versus women combat abilities. But it's not decided yet.
What do you think?
(I could still just say she's Aloree after Swelfalster is covered in blood from the combat, though her eyes aren't blue. We'll handle it in the final edit!)
It is a good question. You could use her as Aloree, but it doesn't match the healer's look. You could probably use her as one of the women in Emperor's harem. After all, he's taken quiet a few women and one of them could have switched sides to stay alive.
Spoiler: there are no harems. Aloree thinks there are secret harems because she encounters too much bad harem fic in between reading bad timeloop fic on whatever the world's equivalent of Royal Road / wattpad is. I think Velwin already obliquely discussed his suspicions of what happens to the missing virgins, though I doubt I'll make it explicit.
This is very well written. I do have a question though. Who is the girl holding the sword starting in chapter 10? I realize she's not Aloree, but you haven't named her yet.
I have to confess my eyes are starting to glaze over from all the fight scenes, especially as I don’t have a clear idea of who Veldin is, as he’s clearly a separate entity from his brother, but then I guess he hasn’t had time to do more than develop fighting muscles since the first Vel died.
I originally intended the image as Aloree in chapter 1, but I later realized the image didn't fit her personality at all. I still use the image for the more "combat" chapters because it's less romantic and more action.
I've considered using her as the Dark Emperor, since her magic sword is black and magic swords enable one to break realism as far as men versus women combat abilities. But it's not decided yet.
What do you think?
(I could still just say she's Aloree after Swelfalster is covered in blood from the combat, though her eyes aren't blue. We'll handle it in the final edit!)
It is a good question. You could use her as Aloree, but it doesn't match the healer's look. You could probably use her as one of the women in Emperor's harem. After all, he's taken quiet a few women and one of them could have switched sides to stay alive.
I'll be looking forward to how you handle it.
Spoiler: there are no harems. Aloree thinks there are secret harems because she encounters too much bad harem fic in between reading bad timeloop fic on whatever the world's equivalent of Royal Road / wattpad is. I think Velwin already obliquely discussed his suspicions of what happens to the missing virgins, though I doubt I'll make it explicit.